"Why I started taking better care of myself": Anthony speaks about self-esteem and his skincare routine for a healthy glow

Since I was young, I’ve had quite a complicated relationship with my skin. First of all, because I regularly suffer from eczema, and even more so when I am stressed. Over the years I’ve written about culture, fashion, beauty and identity issues, Because of this, I may be more self-conscious about my appearance than the majority of people because I frequently pay close attention to other people's physical attributes. Every small imperfection on your skin or hair stands out to you when you spend your working hours analysing how everyone else looks and what's new in the world of beauty.

A lengthy routine doesn't make you more beautiful

When I worked for Grazia magazine in 2015, and then Figaro until 2017, I wanted to test everything. I started receiving an avalanche of products, claiming to offer dermatological miracles, thanks to unknown ingredients from distant countries. I naively believed that all of these ‘miraculous’ products would make me look more attractive and feel better about myself. I even started using several makeup products to conceal the slightest imperfection. However, I have to admit that the time I spent in the bathroom was not proportional to my sense of well-being.

I started dating a man who used the same shower gel as a body wash, shampoo, and facial cleanser. Along with this shower gel, his toiletry kit also included toothpaste, a toothbrush, and deodorant. And compared to mine, his skin looked considerably better. Nevertheless, I put him to the test with every new product I got, from sophisticated body cleanses and high-tech face masks to cutting-edge hair styling items. But these didn't make him any more handsome or self-confident, he was just happy to be pampered by me! Given the absurdity of the situation, I had to admit that genetics plays a major role when it comes to skin.

You can't put a price on self-esteem

As our relationship developed in the bathroom, bedroom and mostly through his perception of me, he unintentionally taught me about self-esteem. A quality that made him so beautiful in my eyes and that I was cruelly lacking. The thing that you can't see in a mirror, even a magnifying mirror, but that you can still see in your appearance. Something that you can't buy, but that you can still cultivate. For a long time, I confused this with the notion of respect, which I associated with the idea of value and merit. English speakers don't have an equivalent expression to "amour-propre", literally, own love, and that's the irony of French and its multiple meanings.

"Propre" is Latin for "self," but it also refers to belonging, cleanliness, and taking care of oneself. Self-esteem is priceless and necessary for our health and happiness. We won't automatically feel better and more confident just because we spend more time and money on our appearance. But rather, it has an impact on our wellbeing because we do it with care and self-esteem.

Taking care of yourself as a black man is about resilience.

Since I realised this in late 2018, I still spend an eternity in the bathroom with my wide range of products. But I've stopped trying to correlate it all to my worth. In English, the phrase "black don't crack" implies that black people age more gracefully, showing wrinkles and signs of ageing more slowly than white people. Maybe this is a question of genetics. But I can't help thinking that it also says a lot about resilience in the face of adversity. Indeed, African-American geographer Ruth Wilson Gilmore defines racism as group-differentiated vulnerability to premature death*." Ethnic statistics in the United States have long proved this, and the mortality rates due to Covid in Seine-Saint-Denis today strongly suggests that this is also true in France. Basically, black people are less likely to live to a ripe old age, especially black men.

So, I take time to look after myself as a form of resistance. I shower in the evening with SVR Cleansing oil for atopic skin, and then apply the same brand's intensive body balm moisturizer. This is the duo that best prevents eczema breakouts and restore comfort. I also use the Horace cleanser and tonic lotion on my face, then I apply the Hyaluronic Acid Serum, which I leave on for a few minutes, before finishing with Horace’s Rich Moisturiser. I like to nourish my beard with carrot oil macerate or rose hip oil, also applying a dab to my cheekbones, as their natural orange colour gives my skin a healthy glow. You can never glow too much!

Aiming to make my future self grateful

Since September 2020, I have also been boxing three times a week to relieve stress. I also weekends running 10 km with my roommate so that we have time to chat. This has given me a more tranquil sense of equilibrium. I sleep better, eat better, and am more aware of myself. I finally get individuals who say their "body is a temple" and refuse to eat junk food. I certainly still enjoy junk food, but I crave it less, and I'm confident that my future self will be grateful that I appreciate taking care of myself today. I treat myself as if I were my best friend, and it feels great!

In the epilogue to her essay "Burst of Lights" (1988), Afro-feminist intellectual Audre Lorde writes: "Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare." As a black lesbian in the United States, she perfectly sums up insights developed by many minorities, including myself: how systemic racism, as well as homophobia, and other structural oppressions, complicate one’s sense of self-esteem. So, it may sound somewhat far-fetched, but taking care of myself today is a revolt. A revolution in self-love.

* “”Racism, specifically, is the state-sanctioned or extralegal production and exploitation of group-differentiated vulnerability to premature death.” — Ruth Wilson Gilmore, “Golden Gulag: Prisons, Surplus, Crisis, and Opposition in Globalizing California”, University of California Press, 2007

Anthony’s routine from Horace

Bestseller

For clean
and soft skin

Purifying Face Cleanser

8078 review(s)

For clean
and soft skin

Adding Add - £13

Moisturises and smoothens
dehydrated skin

Hyaluronic Acid + Panthenol Serum

572 review(s)

Moisturises and smoothens
dehydrated skin

Adding Add - £21

Rehydrates
and nourishes

Rich Face Moisturiser

1792 review(s)

Rehydrates
and nourishes

Adding Add - £17