How to make New Year’s resolutions you’ll actually stick to

There’s something about the end of an old year and the start of a new that brings feelings of resolution and change over all of us – we’re determined that next year will be better than the current one. We’ll quit those nasty habits, work harder, and pick up new skills along the way.

This is why on 1 January the vast majority of us will have made at least one New Year’s Resolution, whether in public, to our friends, families and Twitter followers, or privately, just with ourselves. By 17 January, though, most of us will already have broken those resolutions. Otherwise known as ‘Ditch New Year's Resolution Day’, it’s the date when many of us will throw in the towel when it comes to quitting smoking, giving up alcohol, attempting veganuary or running that marathon. When you look at it like that, it all seems a bit pathetic. In under three weeks, you go from having the best intentions for a brand-new start to sliding back into your old, unhealthy, pre-Christmas ways.

So why do you do it? And how can you make resolutions you can stick to? We spoke to Dr Ian Taylor, Senior Lecturer in Psychology at Loughborough University, to find out why making lasting resolutions is such a challenge for so many men. We also asked qualified life coach Jonty Rooke for his advice on how to make resolutions that stay the distance.

Start slow

“Not a lot of thought usually goes into New Year’s resolutions,” says Dr Taylor. “For example, why would you start running in the coldest and darkest month of the year? You need to plan your resolutions carefully and start very gradually with easy steps.”

He goes on to explain that, psychologically speaking, you need “a few wins and successes in the early days to boost confidence and get you into a routine.” For example, if your goal is to get fit then start by going for a walk or a slow run, rather than immediately trying to run a marathon in the quickest time possible.

Don’t rely on your willpower alone

Dr Taylor also argues that, from a psychological perspective, willpower (and men’s over-confidence in their own self-motivation) is a big reason why many New Year’s resolutions fail within a few weeks. But, as we all know, motivation levels can never be guaranteed – even the most positive, goal-orientated person will have off-days.

“People just hope that they’ll be motivated enough to push through and achieve their new goal,” argues Dr Taylor. “Unfortunately, willpower is a really bad type of motivation because it’s very fragile. Now and then, everyone needs to use willpower but to rely on it all the time is a big mistake.”

Plan ahead

Instead, the psychologist recommends a simple solution: making a plan. “Specifically, you need to plan to remove the need for willpower,” he advises. “For example, if you’re trying to eat healthily, cook big batches so later in the week when you’re tired and stressed there’s already a healthy option waiting. No effort or willpower required. If you want to get fit, incorporate into your daily routine if you can. Cycle or jog to work.” You’ve got to get there somehow, after all.

Take a look inside

For London-based life coach Jonty Rooke, it’s a case of looking a bit deeper to figure out how to make better New Year’s resolutions. “As a coach I seek to find the goal behind the goal,” he explains. This means that you need to examine and understand what your real intentions are behind your resolutions, in order to truly stick to them.

“You might say that your resolution is to go to the gym twice a week, but you fail to tie your goal to feeling better about yourself, or having a bit more self-confidence,” says Rooke. “Once you’ve listed your resolutions, go that one step further and ask why you want to set those resolutions this year.” Thinking it through like this means you’re far more likely to stick to them.

Practice makes perfect

“Humans are creatures of habit and as such we find familiarity far easier than change,” says Rooke. This means that in January, when it’s cold and dark outside, sticking to a new routine will be an uphill struggle for anyone.

“The key to success here is to use a substitute,” Rooke advises. “Instead of simply cutting out your negative habit – your mind will be telling you that you’re denying yourself, even if you know it’s bad for you – find something to do in its place. For instance, when my cousin gave up smoking he ate an apple every time he wanted a cigarette. It worked.”

Be realistic

Rooke also explains that the resolutions that are most likely to be accomplished are ones that align best with your values and motivations. “It’s all good and well saying that this year you intend to focus more on building your business or focusing on your career. But if your core value is family-focused then you will subconsciously sabotage yourself as you associate striving to achieve your goals of business or career success with spending less time with your kids,” he says.

All about the goal

Rooke also has some practical tips for sticking to those New Year’s resolutions. “Goals are more likely to be accomplished if they’re written down, shared with someone else, and properly planned out,” he advises. “If you share your goals with someone whose opinion matters to you then you are more likely to want to stick to them for fear of losing their high regard. This can be a powerful motivator for some people.”

Little by little

Finally, Rooke recommends breaking your New Year’s resolutions into simple and achievable steps, which will ultimately have a much more beneficial effect on your life. “It’s important to set long-term goals, like a marathon, but it’s actually it’s the weekly training that will really make the big difference to your life. Whether you eventually complete the marathon or not doesn’t really matter in the long run – if you’ll forgive the pun.”

With thanks to Dr Ian Taylor at Loughborough University, and Jonty Rooke.